A Live Blog of The New Girl

Greetings all.  This is Boyfriend.  I will be performing the job of Stenographer.  Why am I stenographing?  Good question!  Well, it is about 10:00 on a Friday night.  Princess Pretty Face has had "just enough wine" to hinder her typing skills, and we are about to "live blog" this past week's The New Girl.  We hope you have already watched it...

This week's "Live Blog" of The New Girl is brought to you by DirecTV, Poliziano Rosso di Montepulciano and a frozen Costco pizza.

All quotes are from PPF, not the show.

We are less than a minute in and I have already had to pause it. "Wait... giggle giggle.  Will you go back a little bit?"  Apparently Diane Keaton's autobiography is hilarious.

Alright, we are a minute in.  I don't know if I can do this.  She is laughing hysterically again.  PPF has repeated about half the dialogue.  Laughing intermittently.  We are, apparently, excited because we are seeing CC's apartment for the first time, and some Former Eastern Bloc model accidently ate a cookie because she fell on it.  Oh, and Schmitt is in the couch... "Oh, sorry... Jew person in the couch."

2 mins - Winston just told Nick that CC and Schmitt are sleeping together.  PPF thinks that secrets are First World Problems.  Oh, she laughed hysterically at the face Nick made when he found out the CC and Schmitt are knockin' da boots.  PPF laughs a lot... we haven't even finished the credits.

5 mins - Jess speaks like a Native American when she is angry. Two moons have passed.  Two moons!

10 mins - PPF loves Nick's soul patch, Winston's braids, and is worried that Spanky didn't see the TV.  We had to go back.  She was less impressed with Schmitt's fatsuit.  We had to look up the "I am Claire" t-shirt.  Is a "Lost" reference?

11 mins - Jesus Hawk on a Speedboat.  PPF didn't inhale for about 30 seconds.  She is very much an 'out-laugher'.  I was worried for a second.  Actually, 30 seconds...

12 mins - Schmitt is giving Nick pointers... Jess is very, very confused.

13 mins - Self-Completing is a fantastic euphemism for masturbation...

15 mins - The Lucky One looks like a terrible film.  I am thankful that I am no longer in college, or dating a college girl.  Therefore I am not forced to watch that film

17 mins - Jess in a full winter outfit did not amuse PPF as much as I expected it would.

21 mins - "He just went full Poppins!"  Winston yelling sit down was amazing and scary, yet amusing, all at the same time.

22 mins - Winston's Regulation was epic.  Nick's slow-clap was perfectly acceptable.

25 mins - "He's a super-human right?  In this story of the Raven with John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe, is he supposed to be a super-human??  What?  What?  Is that worth typing?  It is a genuine question!"  - While trying to fast-forward through a trailer for  The Raven starring John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe.

27 mins - Zooey Deschanel has the worst running form of any human on the planet.

28 mins - "Does that say 30 hours?"  Upon them taking 3 hours to finish a 10K.

30 mins - "This is a funny show.  This is funny.  It is a good show."

And that is a Friday night.